The last one

This is my last blog post.

To say that this has been coming for a while would be an understatement. I have started and deleted this so many times that I have now lost count.
Truth be told, this is a bit sad for me.
I have loved this outlet, writing these stories. I have loved the connections it has given me, the common ground, the joy.
It has given me a voice when sometimes in motherhood, you can feel so unheard.
It gave me a hobby on the days where my brain was crying out for something other than nursery rhymes and picture books.
But by far the most important thing it gave me was a way to document these years. These precious years that will one day be a blurred memory, I have so many of them written down on paper and for that I am so pleased.

I am thankful every day that I get to have my life with these children, more than anything I want them to know that they brought the biggest light to my life and the love I have for them is unlike any love I will ever know again.
The stories I have written over the last few years, albeit some poking fun, and some complaining, have all been for them. And I can only hope that one day they will see them and know how much I loved sharing these years at home.

Yes, the stories, they are mostly about Leo. (I see that now that I have transferred them all to file) But I started this blog as a stay at home mum to one child. It has seen me grow from that first-time mum to now, someone who has basically been pregnant or feeding for the last five years straight. My life for the last five years has been all about them, and even if I haven’t had the time to make public the endless stories about how hilarious Maisie is or how whole Posy has made our family feel, it doesn’t mean I haven’t written them.
So now is a time for those secret stories. Not because I like keeping secrets, or I feel like we need to, just because what I have to say, I feel I have said it all before. While my girls might like to read one day just how much I loved watching them sleep and how perfect they made the world seem by the exhaling of a deep and perfect baby sigh, you all don’t need to read that for the um-teenth time, nor do I feel like I need to share it.

While I once had the time to sit and ponder at my computer, now I feel my time is more importantly spent elsewhere.

Thank you for allowing me to share my family with you. Allowing me to share my thoughts and in this and many cases, my ramblings.
Since the beginning, I was always amazed in how many people it allowed me to connect with and it has truly been a privilege. I love this blog, it is something that I have always been extremely proud of and I have loved writing it. The love I have for writing will always be here, continually jotting notes in my phone or on my computer, little poems for the kids, love notes, and rants, only now they will be just for us, or, in some cases, just for me.

Thank you,
Jess  xx.



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